A wedding is the first step of a lifelong commitment to one another. If a marriage is to survive, spouses must work on love, devotion, kindness, and care towards one another.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can try your best to have a peaceful marriage, and life still happens. If you are experiencing marriage problems, you are not alone.
According to statistics, almost 700,000 divorces occurred in 2021. Several issues can be blamed for this separation, including infidelity, intimacy struggles, financial disagreements, unbelieving wives of husbands, unrealistic expectations, and emotional distance, among others.
Often, these issues start as small problems that blow out of proportion if left unsolved.
The good news is that God’s living Word is filled with wisdom, comfort, and power to mend broken marriages and restore hope for the future.
So, if you are experiencing a disconnection or are wounded in your marriage, learning to lean on God’s word can provide the answers and solutions you need.
This article looks at the Key Biblical guidance and verses on overcoming common marital problems, meeting each other’s needs, handling conflict, relying on God’s strength through trials, and prioritizing your marriage.
Key Takeaway
- The Bible provides the foundations for a strong marriage including a commitment to Christ, sacrificial love, and mutual submission. Following these principles helps couples withstand challenges.
- Scripture offers practical solutions to common issues like conflict, lack of intimacy, breach of trust, etc. Key strategies involve better communication, compromise, vulnerability, and relying on God’s grace.
- During trials, biblical verses remind spouses of God’s unconditional love and power. Leaning on the Holy Spirit for strength and hope sustains marriages through hardship.
- Restoring struggling marriages requires perseverance, prayer for one’s spouse, wise counseling, and choosing to love despite imperfections.
The Biblical Foundation of Marriage
The foundation of a building can break it or make it. Any architect knows that a builder needs to take specific measures to form a strong and sturdy foundation. The same applies to marriage. When couples do not have a foundation, it will be hard to withstand the test of time.
Biblically, three foundations of marriage form the basis of a fantastic, long-lasting relationship.
God set these foundations to help marriages. They are:
Commitment to your first love (Jesus Christ)
The Bible refers to Jesus Christ as our first love. Couples should make him their firm foundation in their marriage.
There is no other foundation on which a God-honoring relationship can be built.
Matthew 7: 24-25 teaches us that if we build our relationship on the rock, it can withstand the storms, winds, and rains that try to bring it down. Building your foundation on Jesus Christ is the best way to secure your relationship.
He is the rock of salvation, and when you put him first, all your other relationships will be centered on his divine characteristics, and his love will help you to love your partner healthily. Christ Jesus will give your marriage the strength needed to endure.
Recall when God spoke to the church in Ephesus. He commended them for enduring and persevering hardships for his name and reminded them that they hadn’t grown weary. But he reproaches them for forsaking the love they had at first.
This passage calls to remember Jesus Christ, our first love, and put him above other people and things.
Committing to sacrificial love
“Husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to purify her, cleansing with water through the words and presenting her to himself as a radiant church, free from stains, wrinkles, and other blemish.” Ephesians 5: 25-30
Similarly, husbands need to love their wives like their own bodies. Loving your own wife means loving your body. Remember that no one has hated their body. Instead, they wash, care, and feed it like Christ did for the church.
Sacrificial work is not easy, but it can go to great lengths to honor marriage. For it to be possible, husbands must nurture each other spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Committing to be submissive
While husbands are called to love their wives, wives are called to be submissive to their own husbands. The word submission causes a lot of tense reactions, and many people receive it with resilience. This stems from the temptation of Eve in the Garden of Eden. Her husband, Adam, had advised her to keep off the forbidden tree as the Lord God of Israel had warned, but she was defiant.
Genesis 2: 16-17
“And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden. But you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat, you will certainly die.’”
Eve decided to please her desires as deceived by the enemy and went against Adam’s warnings. This is a temptation that’s affecting many marriages. Today, society views the idea of submitting to one’s husband as weak and barbaric, and this goes against the biblical foundation of submission.
Submission should not be viewed as a weakness. Instead, it is strength from God. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Couples need to work together from a place of respect.
Submission does not threaten femininity. The Bible views a husband as the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body. The same way the church submits to Christ is the same way wives need to submit to their husbands. Submission brings gentleness and peace and allows a married woman to build a healthy, committed relationship.
God’s Plan for Marriage
Commission, Crucifixion, and Covenant are the purposes of God’s plan for marriage.
Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”
Adam was created in the image and likeness of God and didn’t need anyone to complete him. Genesis 1;26 says, “Then God Said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness.’”
When someone is searching for a person to complete them, they eventually begin seeing their spouse as someone they are competing with.
As humans, we tend to put expectations on people that can only be fulfilled by God. Then, it becomes a war of who is right and who is wrong.
Only God can complete us, not another human. So, one of God’s plans for marriage was to reproduce children.
Adam and Eve were to create life after the image of God and not their image. Reproduction is not exclusively about physical children. But also includes spiritual children.
So, as husbands and wives, they should commit to building one another’s well-roundedness.
When it comes to crucifixion, we see that Adam, while he had dominion, he didn’t have a partner. So God waited for him to fall asleep and created a woman from his ribs. That shows that God’s intention for marriage was for our sanctification, which means to conform to the image of God gradually.
If you love your spouse only when they are lovely, you won’t contribute to our sanctification. So, you should love them with long-suffering.
God could have created Eve using anything, but he used Adam’s ribs. In a way, it portrays the work that Jesus did for us at Calvary.
The life that came from Adam’s ribs represents resurrection. God showed his love for us while we were still sinners by allowing his only son to die for us.
In the same way, spouses need to love each other as Christ loves the church.
Lastly, Christians should not view marriage as a contract that can end at any time. But rather, a covenant that is binding, irrevocable, and unbreakable.
The words that Adam said when he first saw Eve were, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23
God intended marriage to be a picture of the covenant relationship between Christ and his Bride, the Church.
Jesus Christ’s Teachings on Marriage
Christ Jesus emphasized the sanctity of marriage, soberly warning, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6, King James’ version).
Christ God demonstrated selfless servant leadership by washing his disciples’ feet, providing an example for husbands to humbly honor and care for their wives just as Christ loves the church (John 13:1-17).
The Savior also took time to engage the Samaritan woman at the well in an elevating spiritual discussion (John 4:1-26), crossing social boundaries to show that all people, whether Jew or Samaritan, enslaved person or free, male or female, have equal precious worth in God’s eyes, and deserve to be treated as such in marriage.
Guidance from the Apostles
The apostle Paul gave extensive marriage instructions. He wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22-28).
The concept of wives submitting to their husbands, as mentioned, is controversial today.
Still, the Greek Word translated as “submit” comes from a military term meaning “to arrange troop divisions in good order” rather than implying inferiority.
It suggests interdependent collaboration towards shared goals. Paul teaches elsewhere that husbands and wives should thoughtfully care for each other’s needs and regularly enjoy sexual intimacy to foster closeness since their bodies belong to each other (1 Corinthians 7:4-5).
Overcoming Problems in Marriage
No relationship is perfect. All relationships need work to keep them healthy and thriving.
Think about a house. When you stop investing in it, it will soon fall apart. When you first started pursuing your wife, it was hard work, commitment, and creativity.
If you did that back then, what makes you think that neglecting your relationship now will make it work?
Your wife would not have considered you if you took her for granted. So the same effort you put in before is what you should put in now to keep your relationship.
A troubled marriage is normal. But how you handle your problems is what matters.
Here are some tips to get through marriage woes.
Getting Through Hard Times
When faced with tough times, like financial pressures, grief, health issues, job changes, or other difficult times, trials strike, couples often argue more easily, feel emotionally distant, or grow cynical, hopeless, or overwhelmed.
But God’s Word urges us to “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:9-13) even during the most difficult times.
Seek pastoral counseling if needed, but pray together daily and believe God can somehow redeem pain for good in His perfect timing (Romans 8:28).
Handling Conflicts Biblically
Since we all occasionally “stumble in many ways” (James 3:2), harsh words and lack of self-control during arguments can severely wound relationships.
However, Jesus commanded, “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).
If tensions escalate, practice patiently listening without judging or interrupting, seeking first to understand your spouse’s perspective before demanding apologies or concessions.
Scripture reminds us that “Love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). As much as possible, approach sensitive issues respectfully once emotions have cooled, taking ownership of your part in the problem and compromising for mutually agreeable solutions.
Restoring Broken Trust
Serious breaches of trust like infidelity, emotional abandonment, prolonged deceit, or financial issues can injure marital relationships. This leaves spouses isolated and wary of getting hurt further.
However, the Lord tenderly heals the brokenhearted and binds up their painful wounds according to Psalm 147:3.
With courage, hard work, mutual vulnerability, and God’s redeeming grace, even the marriage most devastated by betrayal can eventually be restored. Initially, a married couple must focus on listening and understanding each other’s feelings and identifying growth areas without defensiveness.
If both commit to providing consistent emotional and physical intimacy and rebuilding faith in each other’s integrity, that’s a good thing, as with time, they will reconstruct their relationship upon a stronger foundation of honesty, forgiveness of sins, and hope.
Improving Marital Intimacy
Sexual union develops precious flesh, emotional closeness, and sensual pleasure between husbands and wives.
Since Scripture celebrates physical intimacy within marriage, believers must be vigilant to protect these gifts from outside interference.
Married couples should prioritize private opportunities for relaxed, unhurried intimacy free from distractions of children, jobs, or screens in their marriage bed.
Spouses are instructed to regularly enjoy sexual relations as a sacred means of affirming their covenant and nurturing affection since “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3).
Make efforts to enthusiastically meet each other’s intimate needs just as you care for your own body (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Cultivating Emotional Intimacy
While sexual intimacy connects bodies, developing true love and rich emotional intimacy interweaves souls.
Beyond friendship, healthy marriage relationships should involve the most intimate, heartfelt transparency, understanding, and support between two human beings as they journey through life together, becoming “one flesh and spirit” through this vulnerability.
Listen attentively without judgment to understand your spouse’s inner world- their secret dreams, anxieties, and emotional needs. Share your hopes, fears, and feelings in return. Discuss topics you both feel passionate about.
Emotional intimacy deepens as couples purposefully invest in each other as irreplaceable friends and partners above all else, just as the Genesis creation account declared.
“It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Focus on strengthening your friendships as per God’s love according to Genesis.
Roles and Responsibilities in Marriages
Husbands Loving Their Wives
In a countercultural message for the ancient world where women lacked status and rights, Scripture instructs Christian husbands to love their wives unconditionally “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
But what would such self-sacrificial, servant-hearted Love look like practically in today’s marriages?
Husbands, as head of wife, can actively love by listening closely to understand their wife’s stresses with work, health, or family and then seeking reasonable ways to lighten her load through compromises around responsibilities for earnings, household chores, childcare, and more.
Bring small gifts, write affectionate notes, and patiently talk through problems. Since God declares husbands and wives “joint heirs of the grace of life” with equal dignity (1 Peter 3:7), deliberately speak well and honor your wife’s talents in front of others. Approach her reverently as God’s precious daughter.
Wives Respecting Their Husbands
Peter also charges Christian weaker vessels (wives) to “be submissive to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way you live – when they see your respectful, pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Women can demonstrate this respect privately and publicly by speaking supportively about their husbands’ ideas, leadership, and work ethic rather than belittling or controlling them.
Adapt considerately as headship dynamics shift between changing life stages and roles rather than rigidly demanding to lead (or be led) at all costs.
Refrain from using intimacy withdrawal or disparaging comments to manipulate changes in your husband’s decision.
Make sincere efforts to understand your husband’s unique needs and stressors, actively avoiding hurtful comparisons between him and other spouses that undermine his confidence.
Support him in pursuing personal interests and friendships periodically apart from you.
As the Proverbs 31 wife modeling strength and honor, your “worth is far above jewels” (Proverbs 31:10) when you speak and act respectfully towards your own husband despite imperfections.
Strengthening Your Bond During Trials
Turning to God’s Word
When marriage problems drag you down with anxiety or discouragement, the best way to handle them is to immerse your weary soul in bible verses that are full of sweet streams of wisdom and a source of comfort. In addition, there are Bible verses for renewing your vows..
God of comfort urges, “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful” (Joshua 1:8).
The Holy Spirit clarifies spiritual truth to renew our minds (1 Corinthians 2:14), realign relationships and priorities, and generate fresh hope, joy, and courage from within far better than we could humanly manufacture.
Beloved, let Scripture richly dwell within you (Colossians 3:16) – speak verses aloud, ponder meanings, and prayerfully apply principles through each unique season of marriage.
Relying on God’s Mighty Hand
In the Bible, the Power of God tenderly reveals Himself as a perfectly faithful, loving Father who cares deeply about every detail of our lives. He promises, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV), actively working to redeem everything for our eternal good (Romans 8:28).
You can confidently rely on the mighty hand of God hand during marital issues (Exodus 3:19-20), boldly approaching His throne to receive mercy and find grace to help in times of need (Hebrews 4:16).
“Cast all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Allow God’s perfect Love to cast out any relationship fears or uncertainties that corrode intimacy (1 John 4:18).
Let His joy and peace strengthen you from within when external circumstances still roar (Isaiah 26:3-4). Stay rooted in fellowship with Christ.
Waiting Patiently on the Lord
During long winters of marital strain, separation, or divorce proceedings, how can believers tap reservoirs of perseverance and hope? God says, “Wait patiently for me, my children. Be brave and courageous, and always remember I am with you” (Psalm 27:14 TLB).
Follow the Holy Spirit’s prompting towards acts of service or changes in personal habits that may win over an unbelieving spouse (1 Peter 3:1).
Keep demonstrating Christlike integrity and doing good work in your current sphere while awaiting God’s resolution. “Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
Strengthen intimacy with Jesus through deeper study and worship. Allow His patterns for forgiveness, service, integrity, and Love to take firmer root in your character. Patiently give God room to work miracles, expecting a beautifully restored relationship in due time.
Prioritizing Your Marriage
Making Your Spouse a Priority
Marriages often erode slowly over decades as married couples get increasingly distracted by demanding jobs, children’s activities, church roles, hobbies with friends, community projects, or addictive escapist behaviors. B
ut Scripture soberly charges husbands to prioritize cherishing their wives (Ephesians 5:28) and urges wives to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33) since this covenant surpasses the intimacy and permanence of any other human ties (Matthew 22:30).
Fight complacency or busyness by regularly assessing priorities:
- Schedule regular date nights to play and enjoy good times.
- Minimize smartphone distractions, refocusing emotional and physical energy exclusively on each other.
- Reevaluate obligations or activities that undermine your connection.
Your marriage must remain an urgent top priority, second only to your individual relationships with God (Matthew 22:37-38), so stubbornly protect it.
Protecting Your Marriage
Marriages require vigilant protective nurturing since many alluring forces compete for spouses’ time, energy, and loyalty. Establish appropriate emotional/physical boundaries with attractive coworkers, neighbors, or online friendships to avoid bonding intimacies that could become inappropriate over time, eroding trust and intimacy with your spouse.
Limit bonding one-on-one with platonic friends of the opposite sex, being transparent about these interactions to avoid jealousy. Nourish fond feelings for your spouse through shared joys and challenges while guarding against roots of bitterness towards them (Hebrews 12:15).
Consider periodically seeking pastoral or professional counseling to protect the marriage bed, strengthen communication skills, and proactively address issues before they become fractures.
Your marriage is a priceless, irreplaceable gift worthy of fighting to protect against any threats that could undermine your emotional/physical connection. So foster that intimacy with great care.
Key Bible Verses for Struggling Marriages
God’s Unconditional Love and Grace
“The Lord your God is with you; the Mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will delight in you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
“God’s grace has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus…He gave His life to purchase freedom for everyone.” (Titus 2:11, 14)
The Sanctity of Marriage
Jesus replied, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves his father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh – no longer two bodies but one.
Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” (Matthew 19:4-6 MSG)
Roles of Husbands and Wives
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy…In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
For a man who loves his wife shows Love for himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Overcoming Conflict
“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive your grievances against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:12-13)
Relying on God’s Strength
“Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
The Power of Prayer
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. …We know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his Love.” (1 Corinthians 13:7, Romans 5:5)
Promises of Restoration
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in.” (Revelation 3:20)
How to Restore a Struggling Marriage
Since God designed marriage to be a lifelong commitment, you may wonder how you remain married during struggles.
The first thing is not giving up. When you stay committed during your problems, you build a strong foundation for your relationship. Then, from there, you can work on fixing communication, intimacy, and connection.
Here are some ways to restore a struggling marriage:
- Pray for your spouse: Most marriages are launched with promises and prayers. During troubling times, the best thing you can do is to pray for your spouse. Ask the Lord of hosts to restore your lifelong commitment to one another. 2nd Chronicles 20: 11-13 and Matthew 19:6 are good bible verses. Also, pray for restoration of communication, intimacy, connection, and hope for a better marriage.
- Choose to love: Love may be hard if there are cases of mistrust in a relationship. But if it is mutual consent to fix your marriage, choosing to love often has a good reward. The choice may be hard, but it demonstrates maturity and willingness to restore a broken marriage.
- Get counseling: You can consider this route if push comes to shove. Most counseling includes a few sessions to help restore communication.
Conclusion
Whether struggling through grief, realistic challenges, or self-inflicted failures, most marriages endure periods of disconnect or pain.
But living Scripture offers restorative comfort and practical wisdom to help couples draw closer through pains, better meet each other’s needs, and develop emotional intimacy.
Leaning on Bible verses about forgiveness and grace, prayerfully supporting one another, and trusting God’s mighty hand leads to deeper marital joy and satisfaction through every season.
Keep watering seeds of patience, compromise, unconditional Love, and hope – God promises to redeem beautiful harvests from even the most broken places in perfect time.